The best and most worthwhile things take hard work. I think that totally applies to motherhood. This is something I realized some time ago. I thought about it when I would be asked how I was enjoying motherhood. This is an easy question to ask, but a tougher one to answer.

Of course I know what the expected answers are, but truth be told I was tired. More tired than I had ever been before. I needed breaks, but those were hard to come by. It’s intense, especially in those early years. Especially when those early years come after a long, painful, and difficult road to motherhood. I finally have what I’ve been wanting for so long, but now I just want a nap. The expected answers felt like a lie, but sharing the hard reality seemed ungrateful. Especially after all that struggle. What I came to figure out though, is that the real answer is both. Motherhood, especially new motherhood, is hard. That’s true no matter how long you’ve been hoping and praying for a baby. Those who had a long road to motherhood are just as human as those who were able to conceive quickly. That means that they are just as likely to get tired, need a break, or struggle with the transition to this major life change. If that’s you, please don’t feel any guilt about it. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful, just human. New motherhood is hard, like all worthwhile things. They take work. But that work brings rewards. And those rewards are incredible.

Motherhood is being someone’s whole world. It’s seeing that baby face light up when they see you because you are the face they most want to see. It’s watching them grow and learn and develop, and knowing you had a hand in it. In young kids, you see the pure untempered emotion, from all-out screaming to all-out love. They have no filter. What you see is what’s really there. It’s knowing someone inside out, helping shape who they become, and watching their uniqueness come out. Motherhood is doing life together and supporting them as they develop their own unique identity. You are the safe place as they spread their wings. It’s good.

Before kids my life was at a pretty even keel. As a parent the lows are much lower and the highs much higher. It’s easy to respond to the question, what’s it like being a mom, with just the positives or just the negatives. However, that doesn’t give the whole picture. The truth is it makes everything more intense. You are pushed past your breaking point and then some. Also your heart is melted on a regular basis by joy and love. It’s hard and it’s wonderful. It’s raw and it’s real. It’s incredible.